Who I Follow

When I’m not working, I am the laziest person. I can literally lie on a couch and watch television for 15 hours. I hate people who say ‘Oh, I’m addicted to working out’, I just want to punch those people in the face.

When I’m not working, I am the laziest person. I can literally lie on a couch and watch television for 15 hours. I hate people who say ‘Oh, I’m addicted to working out’, I just want to punch those people in the face.

(via hellatrix-lestrange)

otakusapien:

superqueerpasta:

scaredpotter:

how many people would worship and glorify umbridge if she wasn’t a woman and played by a moderately good-looking man 

whatwhat. no. #stahprightnow

(via iosaturnalia)

kaylainthetardis:

amoracomplex:

dirtrider333:

zombikki:

veganasfuck:

how many “friend-zoned” guys does it take to change a light bulb? None they’ll just compliment it and get pissed when it won’t screw. 

this is the best joke ever

haha…fuck you - sincerely every friendzoned guy ever

You wish - sincerely the women who are by no means obligated to sleep with you.

*mic-drop*

(via benedictcumberbatch)

thelibrarina:

professor-whom:

I only accept sexts in iambic pentameter

Thy beauty is beyond all earth’s compare;
Pray tell me, lover mine, what dost thou wear?

(via iosaturnalia)

swoobats:

swoobats:

alphabet soup more like times new ramen am i right

gUYS THIS IS REALLY FUNNY IM STILL LAUGHING

(via solicitingeden)

jk-mno:

anglepoiselamp:

Most marine mammals are very flexible because they are made of 99% blorp.

as a scientist I can confirm this is 100% true

(via themonicabird)

Ohmygoodness

(via ihopethisisgood-bye)

lasarahlloyd:

Sheehan and I drunk emailed Mr. Patalano on Saturday afternoon, but it said his email account was inactive and bounced back.  It was a quality email and if anyone knows a forwarding address to this guy, I’d appreciate it.  

WAIT! I know his son! On it. 

Awwww! <3

sektumsempra:

musicalofethics:

me dad’s a muggle

                                                                 mam’s a witch

bitofanastyshockforhimwhenhefoundout

(via lauraisgreat)

imaginebeyondbelief:

najlupinz:

howtheyfly:

cybercum:

if a number is not divisible by 5 or 2 i get very uncomfortable

image

Pun Intended.

I found this too funny

(via inconceivablyamanda)

wiltingboy:

the good thing about me is that you can not talk to me for 3 weeks and then talk to me and I’ll be fine and still care about you the same way I did before

the bad thing is that I do that to people and they don’t understand that sometimes I just don’t feel like interacting with people.

(via solicitingeden)

On Periods: Let’s put this shit to bed right now: Women don’t lose their minds when they have period-related irritability. It doesn’t lower their ability to reason; it lowers their patience and, hence, tolerance for bullshit. If an issue comes up a lot during “that time of the month,” that doesn’t mean she only cares about it once a month; it means she’s bothered by it all the time and lacks the capacity, once a month, to shove it down and bury it beneath six gulps of willful silence.